Great Expectations

You go away for a conference, and you tell yourself you'll make time to write. You'll blog, do a little work, keep up with email, and even spend a few hours on an essay you've been noodling over. All of this in-between attending sessions, networking, and socializing. You believe it every time, with a silly sort of hope. And every time, in the midst of the time away, you wonder how on earth you ever thought you'd have time to write or work or keep up with anything. Today you barely had time to eat.

This is simply a microcosm of the way it all works when it comes to this creativity thing: You need time and space and quiet. Things take longer than you think they will (except when they don't, of course). And yet, you squeeze out what you can when you can, in the little moments you can squeeze into your day. Even if it's just a quick paragraph or two, you try to get it down.

You wonder: Is something better than nothing? Does half-assed make you look like at least you're trying, or does it just disappoint people? At 12:02am on the third night of the conference, you know that half-assed is all you have in you, and so you give that half. And then you drag your whole ass to bed.

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I'm in Chicago at AWP this week, an enormous conference of about 10,000 writers. It's wonderful and overwhelming, much like the creative life...much like life in general, I suppose. I am feeling inspired and am looking forward to writing full-assed when I return.

Comments

[Kimberley McGill]

I'm laughing out loud - much needed this morning!

Half my ass is still in bed and the other half writing you that letter we spoke about. Hopefully I can coax the sleepy half ass out with promises of raspberry tea and a cumpet.

[Magdalena Macinska]

It's really good to read this post because I fall for this every time too! It stops me from being fully present and there are those pangs of guilt about what have waiting at home.

Hope you enjoy the conference and then find the real time for writing!