In My Skin

I walked out to the mailbox today in socks and flip-flops. I felt such rhythm and joy swinging one leg in front of the other as I walked up my driveway and crossed the quiet street. The sky was a soft blue and the November air was fresh and clean. I realized I hadn't left the house in a day or two. This is not so uncommon when you work from home, have no children, and have deadlines leering at beckoning you. Or maybe it is uncommon and I'm just a freak. You tell me.

I decided it was time for a walk (after a quick change of shoes -- not for fashion's vanity, but for the sake of my feet and shins). Besides, I wasn't getting anything done sitting around inside. The coffee didn't seem to be working, so I resorted to physical activity to give me some zip. I don't love physical activity. This is why I'm too soft around the middle. But today, I moved my body and it felt good. I imagined getting into the habit of feeling good in my body. Wouldn't that be something? (Yes, for me, that would be something.)

Last week I posted about the danger of the single story, how we reduce people to a fraction of themselves when we have just one story about them. How often do we do this same disservice to ourselves? I have a dominant story about how I live and move and have my being in my body. It's not a story that makes me happy, but I've been telling it and listening to it for years. Parts of it are true, but it's not the whole story.

It's time for my body's next chapter. I've known this for awhile. I keep ignoring it, conveniently forgetting it, pushing it away. But today it showed up not as guilt and pain, but as the possibility of joy and ease. I'm not talking about losing weight because I'm too heavy (although I am), or getting in shape because I'm so out of it (although I am that, too).

I'm talking about a shift in the way I approach my body and the physical world. I live so much in the world of words and ideas. I need to reunite with my body, embrace it as my own. I need to stop disconnecting body from mind and spirit.

I don't quite know how to write this next chapter, how to let the rest of the story unfold. But I usually don't. Even when I'm writing, I often don't know what I want to say or what I need to tell until I start. And then the pieces come together, bit by bit, and the story unfurls.

What story of yours is getting stale?

Comments

[Emma Alvarez Gibson]

Gorgeous and timely. What an excellent post. Thank you!

[Jena]

The one about being nice.

[Steph]

I have contemplated the same thing lately. Wanting to connect mind with body. I was hoping you were going to continue on that note and share how you are going to go about. Keep us updated. I would love to hear more about your journey.

[Juliana]

I'm in the same place right now. Just signed up for a yoga class and have started taking the dogs on long walks when the weather is good. I've been so much "in my head" lately that I forgot what in feels like to be in my feet.

Thanks for this.

[Avital]

This is so beautiful. I work from home and have no kids and I know exactly what you are talking about. How the fresh air revive you (and not just the daily trip to the gym). I am all about telling stories. Stories of my loved ones. People I've met. People I wish I met and even some stories about myself. I am all into that, but rarely actually doing that... :) Thank you!

[Amie aka MammaLoves]

As I approach 40, I've been doing quite a bit of thinking about my stories and which ones I can leave behind. This is a terrific reminder to keep on that path.

[liz elayne]

really love this. yes. it has my mind turning. though i am going to revisit it again when i have had more sleep and tea and food. yes, food. but i love all that you have said here. i want to read more about this...how your story shifts. thank you for these words.

xoxo

[Count Sneaky]

No one's story is getting stale. You are writing the story in your mind every waking hour and then living it. To think otherwise is to consider life dull and uninteresting, and to think you only can live someone else's script. You are what you think. Change that and you may be free to write your own script without buying other people's script. Who told you that you were this person or that person? Did you not buy into someone else's image of what you should be
Learn this and you will live free. . .I have for 75 years. My best. Count Sneaky

[Leisa Hammett]

Beautiful! Jeniffer, you're Good!