Messy amoeba seeks daily rhythms

My days are in disarray over here. No tragedy, nothing big. Just a bunch of little things that have clumped together and wreaked havoc on my schedule. But the problem is that I didn't have much of a schedule to begin with. My husband's work hours change every day, as do his days off each week. Since I work from home, I try to go with the flow of his schedule. This means that time swings hither and thither depending on the day. This isn't a bad thing, since it means we can coordinate time together much more easily than when I worked a standard 9-5, M-F job. I'm not complaining. I know how fortunate I am to be able to work from home and set my own schedule. I'm truly glad for it.

But as I mentioned here, I desperately need some daily and weekly rhythms. Without them, my life feels like a crazy pendulum swinging out of control one day and hanging motionless the next. It's disorienting, even for a free spirit like me. It gets worse when extra deadlines or extra play opportunities come along (sometimes at the same time; last week I started a big contract job and my husband had a week off of work). With no baseline rhythm to start from, the days become a jumble. I feel guilty when I'm not working because every hour seems like a potential hour for work. But I know I can't work or write or clean the house every waking minute.

Without some basic routine to ground me, I float frantically through my days. I suspect that I have much more time than I think I do, and I would find it if only I could establish boundaries and rhythms that work for me. (You'll notice how I avoid the term "routine," since that word makes me feel stifled and boxed-in. But a rhythm or ritual or boundary feels okay. It's semantics in a way, but words do matter.)

A lot of my writing and editing clients remark on how detail-oriented, structured, thorough, and systematic I am. And it's true: I am that way in my work for other people. But when it comes to structuring my own life, I'm more like a messy amoeba.

Trying to change everything at once is too overwhelming, so I'm trying to stick to a few daily actions to keep me centered. I try to do 20 minutes of gentle, stretching yoga when I get up. In the early evening I want to go for a 20-minute walk. At night, I need to log-off of the computer at least an hour (preferably two) before I go to bed, and do some more stretching and meditation to calm my mind.

What works for you? How do you structure your days? What can a messy amoeba do to establish some rhythms? I'm really looking for suggestions and tips here, so please share in the comments.

Comments

[tawnya]

My mornings are fixed. Up, work out, email, straighten the house, load of laundry and shower for the day. The rest of the time can be influx, but as long as I have the basics covered before I "start" my day, things go better.

[heart102271]

Actually, I was reading the article to see what YOU had come up with. I'm in the same boat. My husband is a roofer. I've been unemployed since February. I had previously had a 9-5 ish job.... and now I'm training for a new part time job. Meanwhile, I never know until literally the last minute if he will be home that night or not. I find myself getting really frustrated, because he likes me to have dinner ready when he gets home, however it's hard to do that not knowing IF he's coming home or WHEN. Also, my daughter and I might be just fine with say.... a "breakfast" for dinner, or a sandwhich, or just rice and veggies, whereas my husband wants steak or chicken or shrimp or pasta and he MUST have tortillas or tostadas or bread or a cracker with EVERY MEAL or he's not happy. So WHAT I fix, the QUANTITY of what I fix, it all is dependent on is he going to be home. It's more expensive to cook when he's home, so I try for example not to cook meat if he's not going to be home.... to save money. As if that were not enough of a challenge, I have a hard time dealing with the anger I experience when he'll tell me the night before that he's not coming home, and I plan my day to get all this stuff done in the house (cleaning, artistic things, running errands etc.) and then suddenly he appears out of nowhere, and I feel like I'm expected to drop everything to take care of him. It's caused a lot of arguments between us, and I worry about how it's affecting our marriage.

[kellye]

I hear you, Jenna! It's funny because I've been doing the same thing that you talk about here: Trying to come up with a few daily actions/routines/rituals for each day. Otherwise, I can go the whole day and never shower or get dressed. (TMI?) It's so easy for me to live in my head, whether I'm writing or reading or surfing the web... so I'm trying to focus on getting back into my writing routine. (I'm starting something new--and trying a new approach, so that has been challenging) and trying to do something to take care of my physical and spiritual needs, not just mental. I try to do some yoga every day and just discovered this short video and for the past couple of days have tried her suggestions and have felt good: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLrwMkgqI0o

I'm also trying to figure out what "a good day" looks like at this place in my new, experimental writing process.

Finally, I'm reading a book that one of my fellow Emerge classmates recommended: Time Shifting: Creating More TIme to Enjoy Your LIfe by Stephan Rechtschaffen, M.D. I'm reading it slowly...and it's got some great ideas in it.

Good luck!

Oh! One last thing...one of my new writing rituals is writing to the muse, as you suggested. I've done it three times, and it has been hugely helpful!

Thank you!