Friday, November 9, 2007 at 5:47PM James: I think I'm in love.
Me: You haven't seen Crate and Barrel before?
James: I've seen Crate and Barrel before, but never like this.
Me: ?
James: I'm on page 28 and I've found at least one thing on each page that I want!
Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 4:32PM We could have embraced our fading youth and dressed up all sexy and silly, hit any one of the local bars holding costume contests, and enjoyed ghoulish cocktails. Or we could have gone all domestic and made a nice corn chowder and some caramel apples. We even could have watched "The Great Pumpkin" while carving a few of our own. Instead, we spent Halloween acting like 78-year-olds. (And we didn't even need costumes!)
James started the afternoon with a trip to the doctor for an annual check-up, where he narrowly escaped a prostate exam after explaining to the nurse that he wasn't there for quite such a comprehensive physical. "Yeah," she said. "We don't usually do them on guys under 40."
I joined him at the hospital to keep him company while he waited to get blood work done. He was in and out in a few minutes, but then we waited for nearly an hour for someone to call him for another test, only to find out that the young, cleavage-showing Cleopatra (complete with headdress) hadn't ordered it.
By the time we were done at the hospital, James was starving, having just fasted for over 12 hours for the blood work. I told him we could go wherever he wanted to eat. We made our way to Bob Evans, where we were at the front-end of the Early Bird crowd. We fit right in with our beef tips and noodles, pot roast sandwich, and coleslaw.
Next we drove across the street to Rite Aid so James could drop off a prescription and I could get a brace for my wrist, which I'd somehow hurt while taking pillow cases off of pillows and then chasing after the cat. (I'm lucky it's just a sprain. Bones get brittle as we age.) While at the pharmacy, I decided to pick up some Preparation-H Medicated Wipes, since I'd noticed earlier in the day that we were running low.
James and I lurked around Rite Aid, waiting for his prescription to be filled. While perusing the wide array of dental floss currently on the market, I turned to him and said, "We've really had a geriatric Halloween."
"Maybe when we get home you can rub some BENGAY on me," he said.
Trick or treat, everybody. Trick or treat.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007 at 9:55PM James, also known as The Husband, has a habit of talking out loud just as he starts to fall asleep. A lot of the time this consists of grunts and mumbles and surprised "huh!" sounds. But just as often, I get snippets of narrative that make me wish I could see inside his mind.
He freaked me out the first time this happened, since he sounded wide awake when he said, "Look at that guy in the yellow coat!"
Here are two of his most recent gems:
They got these chairs on the boat of life, next to the birthing and deathing sections.... Do you want to let the hot air balloons off from there?
It's going to be tough as pie to eat all the jovial cookie treats!
There's wisdom and profundity in these, I'm sure of it.
Sunday, May 13, 2007 at 12:32AM Overheard today in Jen and Eddie's UFO (Used Furniture Outlet):
"Engelbert Humperdinck -- it's not a what. It's a person! You've never heard of him?"
"No!"
"How about Mahalia Jackson? I've never heard of her."
Friday, May 4, 2007 at 9:19PM Today I had the pleasure of listening to my mom's side of a phone call with her son. I'm not sure if it's funnier when you hear just her side of it or the whole thing. You decide:
Version 1
Mom: Hello. ...What?... No, it was a goat!!
Version 2:
Mom: Hello.
Bro: When you were a kid at Aunt Mid's, what chased you?
Mom: What?
Bro: Was it a turkey or a peacock?
Mom: No, it was a goat!!
