Saturday Sayings: Change the world

image by exfordy
(it's so much better bigger)

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

~Margaret Mead

Taking What I Can

image by Ron Almog

I gave myself until 2:07am. If I wasn't asleep, or at least nearly so, I would get up and do something else. I made it until 2:02 and then got out of bed. I was exhausted at 7:30 in the evening. I could have slept for hours had I shut my eyes then. But in the wee hours of the morning, my tiredness apparently doesn't hold as much power. That said, my head and vision are swimming while I write this. I'm tired. So why is it so hard to rest?

I crawl into bed and suddenly there are two dozen things more pressing than sleep: cleaning the bathroom and kitchen floors, putting away laundry, figuring out a new design for this blog, writing five articles for two different online publications, going grocery shopping so I can cook a healthy meal sometime this week. Trust me, the list goes on for awhile. It will bore you. It bores me.

I tried cataloging all of it; allowing myself to acknowledge each item that distracted me and then letting it go. I got to the end of my mental list, and suddenly an image of a beach at sunset or sunrise came into my mind. (I kid you not.) For the briefest moment, I knew fully that none of these other things mattered. I felt weightless and grounded all at once.

And then it was gone. I rolled over and looked at the clock. I got up and got online, which I've read is a bad insomnia-related activity because the light from the computer screen stimulates your body and mind, making it harder to fall asleep. (To compensate for the computer screen light, I'm sitting here by the soft glow of fairy lights.)

I call this non-stop mind chatter my hamster in a wheel. She can run and run and run. If the Energizer Bunny ever does stop, my hamster could take over and just keep going. (I think she'll need a smaller drum, though. Or maybe a small pair of castanets. That would be nice.)

It's now an hour later. I think I've finally run myself out. I think my body is finally too tired to listen to the hamster squeaking. It's not exactly a moment of enlightenment, but at this hour, I'll take it.

Saturday Sayings: Never resist

image by ladnlins

You should never resist the temptation of painting a rainbow.

~Aude Kamlet

Comfort in the Unknown

image by doeth

"I'm excited and nervous about it," I said.

"Why?" James asked.

"Because it's outside of my normal milieu. Outside of my comfort zone."

There's a pause. I know what my husband is about to say next, and I know he's right.

"Yeah, but doing things outside of your comfort zone is part of who you are."

"That doesn't mean they're not still uncomfortable."

It's true. I do push myself to do things outside of my comfort zone, not because I'm an adrenaline junkie with something to prove, but because so often what I want is beyond the boundaries of what I know. I do these things because I know I'd regret not doing them:

• Auditioning for college and community theatre
• Living in a foreign country for a year
• Going out to eat or to a movie by myself
• Signing up for a five-day art seminar retreat
• Putting my private thoughts out there for the world to read
• Planting a garden
• Going to conferences filled with other bloggers and writers
  
• Signing up for a summer watercolor class
• Learning to drive a stick shift
• Mastering the insidious worlds of mortgage lending and credit scores
• Taking a roadtrip by myself
• Calling the mayor's office to ask for an interview
• Going door-to-door to campaign for my candidate of choice
• Starting a business
• Trying scallops
• Admitting that I've struggled with depression
  
• Getting my first pet
• Volunteering to be a Big Sister
• Wearing pantyhose and high heels

I read this list and none of it seems very radical. Nothing on the list is shocking or so far outside of the norm that it would make news. But how many of our daily fears and triumphs do?

I picture my comfort and discomfort zones as slightly intersecting circles with just the tiniest bit overlapping in a shade of grey. But beyond that are more circles. Your circles. And they all intersect. What I fear, you may not think about twice. What I do with ease may send you spiraling into a panic.

What if we could let go of the fear, acknowledge the discomfort and just move on, knowing that our circles' boundaries will change; believing that others will be there to welcome us into their zones?

What if "Feel the fear and do it anyway" was more than a saying that has become trite from extended usage in certain circles? What if it's the only way to live?

I'd love to hear what your comfort zone includes and excludes. I imagine building this giant network of comfort and support, so that no matter what we have to do, we know someone who can tell us all about it and welcome us into our own unknown.

Saturday Sayings: You can wish

image by Todd Baker

I wish you all the joy that you can wish.

~William Shakespeare