Photos of Me(me)

click image for larger version

To do this fun -- and beautiful -- photo meme , type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr search. Then, using only the first page of results, choose your favorite image, and copy and paste each of the URL's into the mosaic maker (3 columns, 4 rows). I made the one above a few weeks ago.

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you attend?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you.
12. Your Flickr name.

Here are the sources for each of the above images:

1. Jennifer, 2. Day 158/365: Grilled cheese - yummm, 3. july on the bay, 4. The Photographer, 5. Dolores Costello, 6. afternoon, 7. Sunshine, 8. tira mi su**, 9. Eden Park Artist, 10. Deflating / Desinflando, 11. Soft purple, 12. ~Ocean Playground~

Here's one I made today, just to see how it would compare.

click image for larger version

1. Jennifer Love Hewitt, 2. Cairo, 3. Untitled, 4. |Twilight| Boat_Birds & Storm, 5. Pavelka Farmstead, 6. darjeeling sky, 7. Capri, 8. I Love a Rainy Night, 9. Strip-tease!!!, 10. evening James River sky, 11. the red room, 12. Fletcher

Life After Death

image by nicolas valentin

Thank you to everyone who left a comment on the last post, emailed me, or sent their support via Twitter. I appreciate each of you so much. The flurry of activity that surrounds death came to a head with yesterday's funeral. Now comes perhaps the hardest part of all: the denouement back into everyday life.

I've been removed from my normal routine for more than two weeks now, what with traveling across the country, spending days at the hospital, and grieving with family members. I'm weary in body and spirit. Trying to jump back into the fray of normal life has been hard. I long to get back to my easygoing routine that barely qualifies for the word "schedule." I want to cook dinner, weed the garden, sit on the patio, do some freelance work, laugh with my husband.

But this morning, I didn't even want to get out of bed. Still, I did. And I managed to take Gatwick the Catwick for one of his periodic haircuts, return library books (on time!), pick up a few groceries and household goods, and do two loads of laundry. This means that we now have some vegetables in the refrigerator and I won't have to shower with a paper towel, like I did this morning. I also wrote 19 words of an assignment and stared at my notes for said assignment.

I'm glad I spelled it all out like that, because I was feeling a little loser-ish and a lot overwhelmed. But now I see that I did accomplish something. Several things, in fact. One thing at a time. Living is always that way: one thing at a time.

Life, Interrupted

I've been home from San Francisco for about 96 hours. I have several stories knocking around in my head, just begging me to write them. I also have three unpacked bags, a truckload of dirty laundry, two slightly neglected cats, a very messy office/studio, and a backlog of people to call and email. I'm trying to attend to all of these mundane details, but the truth is that real life is kicking my ass.

The last three days have been filled with long drives to a hospital in Pittsburgh, long stretches in hospital waiting rooms, and long nights filled with crying and exhaustion. My father-in-law passed away last night. He was just 57 and died from complications while waiting for a liver transplant.

The next week will be filled with long stretches of waiting interrupted by intense moments of planning. The strain of juggling emotion and efficiency will wear on our already tired eyes and hearts. This is a strange kind of limbo land, somewhere between grief and real life. Time has lost all meaning. Hours pass by unnoticed, while minutes drag on.

So until there's more time to think and space to breathe, I'll probably be quiet here. If I met you at BlogHer last week, please know that I can't wait to visit your blog and connect with you. If you've emailed me or left a voicemail, I will do my best to get back to you as soon as I can. In the meantime, I'll be practicing being an adult, which, as far as I can tell, means balancing between the ridiculous and the sublime.

I Left my Blog in San Francisco

I'll be on vacation for the following week, so blog posting will be light to non-existent. The irony is that I'll spend a large chunk of my vacation talking about blogs with other bloggers. As you may know by now, it's the annual madness that is BlogHer. So even though I may not be writing here over the next 7 days, I'll be filled to the brim with bloggy goodness. And I'll be bringin' it back to you. But I'm headed to San Francisco in 9 hours. So now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go to bed.

(Oh, and next week? When every other BlogHer is using the same title as this post, you'll know you saw it here first.)

Insecurities Disclaimer: BlogHer 2008

her story will never be written by sixhours' etsy shop

So Sparksfley at Sparks and Butterflies (found via a Twitter from Megan at Velveteen Mind) decided to post a list of disclaimers borne out of her anxiety about attending BlogHer in San Francisco next week.

I like this idea of putting our insecurities out there for all the world to see. It helps to make us human and reminds us that everyone else is human, too. We all have issues. We're all afraid in some way. We're all sure that everyone will notice that we're not thin/pretty/smart/popular enough.

And isn't that such crap? I mean, here we are, a bunch of educated, smart, beautiful, sassy bloggers, and we're all secretly tortured by our petty insecurities. I say that insecurity needs company to stop feeling so sorry for itself. I left my list of disclaimers on the original Sparks and Butterflies post. As I'm wont to do, I wrote a lot. Too much for a comment, really, although Sparksfley indulged me and let it stand.

So in honor of breaking down barriers and being more confident, I offer you my list of disclaimers (modified slightly to make sense here). Feel free to add yours in the comments or add a link to your own disclaimer blog post. You don't even have to be going to BlogHer to create a disclaimer list. Jump on the down-with-feeling-not-good-enough bandwagon!

1. I talk a lot. (This seems to be a common condition among bloggers.) Sometimes I hear myself babbling on incessantly, but am powerless to stop the madness. I try to quiet down, but it just doesn't always work. Plus, I have a lot of stories to tell. (See explanation in blog header.)
2. I nervous laugh. I just discovered this after listening to myself conduct several interviews on tape. I am somewhat mortified by this discovery. I will try to keep the giggles down to a minimum.
3. I'm not sure if I qualify as chubby or downright fat in most people's eyes. According to those Body Mass Index charts, I think I'm obese. Still, that seems a bit excessive to me.
4. I'm letting my hair grow out because I have this desire to be all flowy and feminine lately. Unfortunately, my hair is usually much cuter shorter. So just indulge me and forgive me if it's a bad hair day. (Wait, is it humid in SF? The hair will do much better if it's not humid.)
5. I hate shoe and clothes shopping. I like to have cute shoes and clothing, but because I hate going out to hunt for them, I may be lacking in that department. Especially the shoes. What can I say? I have wide feet. (To compensate for this, I'm getting a pedicure next Wednesday. This will distract from the lack of cute shoes.) [For those of you not acquainted with the madness that is the BlogHer conference, "cute shoes" always seems to be a hot topic of pre- and post-conference discussion. Case in point:
   
6. I'll be using up my old business cards at BlogHer. They're very elegant, but rather bland. I'll try to have more exciting cards next year. Just don't mistake me for boring if you only see my card.
7. My approach to life is: "Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, act like you belong and no one will know the difference." I'm pretty good at doing this. But the truth is, I often feel like I'm on the margins of things. So if you see me standing around, even if I look like I know what I'm doing, feel free to join me.

Your turn!