hello.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010 at 1:21AM 
Gatwick the Catwick (Diana+)
hello.
just call me e.e. cummings.
which is a total farce, because e.e. was more than the sum of his lowercase letters.
but lowercase is how i feel right now, which, i know, is bad for a writer and bad for my image (if i have an image) and may even be bad for the state of the blogosphere, but i seriously doubt that. i am sitting on the soft blue and white comforter on the guest bed in the guest room of my home. it is 1:28 a.m. my husband and the two grey kits are asleep. the air is very quiet.
hello.
i've been zooming around for days, crashing into my own thoughts and tiredness, working to meet deadlines and to fulfill various obligations. i've been staying up all night and then sleeping until mid-afternoon for the last two days. i am tired and it feels good to sit. hello. in the stillness, in the quiet, in the moment between waking and sleeping. i'm sitting here, catching up with you (and you, and you) and with myself.
the next few days are full of tasks to prepare for an upcoming travel adventure. i'm going to try not to zoom, but rather, to work in a deliberate manner at a steady, determined rate. i'll let you know how that goes.
i've started practicing yoga. gentle poses, lots of breathing, a reminder to be in my body. this practice has been a long time coming. i don't know where it will lead, but, hello.
oh, and here's something else i wanted to tell you: did you read my last post on how to keep creating even when you feel bored/scared/blocked? it received more comments than most of my posts do. and here's the thing: i almost didn't post that little ditty. first of all, i thought the draft was deleted. and then i decided it was just as well, because it was a crappy little post anyway. but then the draft reappeared, and i felt like it was challenging me to publish it, so i decided not to wuss out and i hit publish.
the meaning of this little story? as my friend jen says, we're often not the best judge of ourselves or our work. also, we have no idea of knowing how our work will be in the world. in this case, it's just a semi-inspirational blog post, written in a selfish fit of a pep talk, but it mattered to a huddle of people. and that makes me feel nice. so when you have things to say, say them, okay? put your work out into the world and let it be. let it breathe.
hello.
Reader Comments (9)
okay, i too have been running here and there and deadlines and feeling bogged down and tired. oh so tired. frustrated even as it happens. and i am concerned about fitting enough travel needs into one very tiny little carry on bag which is all i am allowed for international travel but i am very much looking forward to my little adventure.
"put your work out into the world and let it breathe". thank you. i needed to hear those words today. hugs and love, xoxox
i can hear your voice in this post. and i really like that.
and pushing ourselves not to throw away the drafts. ah yes. let's do that one more often...
xoxo
Oh, this is so true! And when we feel self-critical and ridiculous and vulnerable it's so hard to keep putting ourselves out there. And yet it seems to be a law of life that the times we feel most self-critical and ridiculous and vulnerable are the times when we're saying what people most need to hear. Or being what people most need to see.
So very glad you're prepared to put it all out there, Jenna.